May 12, 2003

Nebraska mascot to get new look

In what might be the most unstable press release ever, the Sports Information office at Nebraska is "announcing" that Herbie the Husker is getting a new look for the coming season.

According to Boyd Epley, Nebraska Director of Athletic Performance, "Herbie has undergone a rigorous exercise routine, resulting in a loss of 70 pounds of fat and had an increase of 50 pounds in muscle mass and his clothes didn’t fit too well any more."

Someone please tell me this is a hoax. But wait, Husker fans, it gets worse.

"He has gotten his hair cut and now wants to put the finishing touches on his new look. So, he went shopping."

What I want to know is -- what the heck are they smoking out in Lincoln?! The mascot is undergoing a "rigorous exercise routine" is now "news" at NU?!

For those of you who are truly interested (and not just for the sake of laughing your tail off), you'll be glad to know that Herbie went on a diet & exercise program, "so that he will be a mascot that fits the Nebraska image of strength and power."

I still can't figure out if this is a hoax or not. I kinda envision some Colorado students hacking into the Nebraska SID office and releasing this. Is there any other way to explain this quote:

"Herbie and a few of his mascot friends, ‘Lil Red and Homer the Lincoln Saltdogs mascot, tried on everything from new shirts, jeans, hats, boots and gloves. The new boots were mandatory after Homer chewed Herbie’s his size 17 tennis shoes."

The wheels are flying off like crazy at Nebraska. We, at Fanblogs.com will continue to follow this...fascinating...story.