February 5, 2009

Somewhere, along the coast of a small, squalid Malaysian Island...

A 316L Surgical Grade Stainless Steel blade in one hand, & some small Pan-Pacific boy's Gigglestick in the other, stands Tim Tebow.

Beaming resplendently, complete with Blue Jean shorts, Teva Sandles with ankle cut socks, & a Superman T-Shirt, a puzzled, slightly bemused look etches itself across his face.

As he stands ready to do God's work in the name of male hygeine, a vibration begins to emanate from deep within the pocket of his jorts.

Tebow frees the boy's baby-maker, and lets loose of his mighty smiting blade, reaching down to pick up his Blackberry Phone. As he stares down at the small LCD screen, the color fades away, and his jaw sets like the prow of a ship. His eyes begin to flicker like the control room at the Chernobyl Nuclear Facility, just before they lost their Safety Bonus.

Someone has sent Tim Tebow a link of Lane Kiffin's comments about Tim's 2-Time National Champion Head Coach, Urban Meyer (amongst other SEC Coaches).

Tebow calmly reads the link, and then watches the video. He then watches it again. Letting the accusations sink in. Absorbing the cuts & the barbs. Channeling them into the fire.

And then, somewhere...deep inside of Tim Tebow's mind's eye, he begins flipping his mental Bible back to the section marked "Old Testament" and begins to read. Something about an Eye for an Eye; a Tooth for a Tooth...

Fast Forward to this fall...As the gun sounds 0:00 in the 4th quarter, Lane Kiffin finds himself feeling much like those small Asian male's Tim spends all summer circumsizing:

Bleeding profusely, feeling as if his head's been cut off.

(Author's Note)

By now, Florida's Athletics Director has responded to Kiffin's off-base and highly illogical and poorly thought out remarks. But, let's be honest: Lane & Company over in Knoxville have already aroused the Cracken. It's going to get Biblical-and I mean that in a literal sense-next fall in Gainesville.

Not to mention, with Kiffin's shot at Alabama Coach Nick Saban, as well as them jerking around Les Miles with a last minute switcheroo of another recruit, the SEC Meetings in Destin are sure to be a real hoot, dontcha think?

Comments:

Somewhere, along the coast of a small, squalid Malaysian Island...
A 316L Surgical Grade Stainless Steel blade in one hand, & some small Pan-Pacific boy's Gigglestick in the other, stands Tim Tebow. Beaming resplendently, complete with Blue Jean shorts, Teva Sandles with ankle cut socks, & a Superman T-Shirt, a puzzled, slightly bemused look etches itself across his face. As he stands ready to do God's work in the name of male hygeine, a vibration begins to emanate from deep within the pocket of his jorts. Tebow frees the boy's baby-maker, and lets loose of his mighty smiting blade, reaching down to pick up his Blackberry Phone. As he stares down at the small LCD screen, the color fades away, and his jaw sets like the prow of a ship. His eyes begin to flicker like the control room at the Chernobyl Nuclear Facility, just before they lost their Safety Bonus. Someone has sent Tim Tebow a link of Lane Kiffin's comments about Tim's 2-Time National Champion Head Coach, Urban Meyer (amongst other SEC Coaches). Tebow calmly reads the link, and then watches the video. He then watches it again. Letting the accusations sink in. Absorbing the cuts & the barbs. Channeling them into the fire. And then, somewhere...deep inside of Tim Tebow's mind's eye, he begins flipping his mental Bible back to the section marked "Old Testament" and begins to read. Something about an Eye for an Eye; a Tooth for a Tooth... Fast Forward to this fall...As the gun sounds 0:00 in the 4th quarter, Lane Kiffin finds himself feeling much like those small Asian male's Tim spends all summer circumsizing: Bleeding profusely, feeling as if his head's been cut off. (Author's Note) By now, Florida's Athletics Director has responded to Kiffin's off-base and highly illogical and poorly thought out remarks. But, let's be honest: Lane & Company over in Knoxville have already aroused the Cracken. It's going to get Biblical-and I mean that in a literal sense-next fall in Gainesville. Not to mention, with Kiffin's shot at Alabama Coach Nick Saban, as well as them jerking around Les Miles with a last minute switcheroo of another recruit, the SEC Meetings in Destin are sure to be a real hoot, dontcha think?