October 7, 2009

Will he or won't he? LSU vs. Florida

Yes, it's that time...I've awoken from my humbling slumber to regale you all with a midweek missive regarding our memorable tilt in Tiger Stadium on Saturday Night. Rip Van TE has awoken from his long nap, ready to snap off delusion-filled, self-aggrandizing, snarky comments to friend & foe alike.

And what a time to have been roused from my posting slumber. We find the most over-ranked, illegitimate 4th ranked team since, well...since these losers...going up against this year's Greatest Team In College Football History.

Tim Tebow & his Merry Band of 11 AD/HD - Sociopathic-Navy-Seals-with-a-penchant-for-violence -&- a-wanton-disregard-for-human-life-disguised-as-the-Florida Defense will roll into Tiger Stadium to face an LSU Team that's won unimpressively, but at least not apologetically (cough** University of Georgia Football Program & Fans are classless whiners **cough).

Most recently, LSU laid only the third loss on the Georgia Bulldogs at the hands of a conference foe since the Richt Era began, in quite impressive fashion. The Fighting Ifs will tell you that a phantom penalty cost UGA the game, but they'll forget that UGA had the same ability to return a kick from the same spot that LSU did. They had more time than LSU had to score the final touchdown on Charles Scott's 33 yard scamper. They even had 1 timeout, just as LSU did.

What they didn't have was a quarterback who minds throwing into coverage on 3rd & 15 with the game on the line.

Seriously, UGA fans...Since when does an Excessive Celebration Penalty=an automatic touchdown, two point conversion, plus an automatic interception turnover on downs to end a game? Someone call the paramedics!

Moving right along, the main storyline-other than the fact that LSU is a fraud (Thanks, Mark May of ESPN...How do you like us now?), of course-is whether or not Jesus Tebow will play or not.

Tom Rinaldi, Joe Schad, Tom Jones, Joe Perry...hell...everyone but D.B. Cooper have all weighed in on whether or not this kid should play, could play, might play, will play. I do believe, though, that the most important folks with a sayso in this decision haven't weighed in yet.

Having thrown aside all of the amazing hype surrounding this game, along with all of the visqueen we have to hold up whenever Lou Holth talkth to uth about thith gamth, by now, you're wondering who, what, where, & how I think this game will be won.

I got news for you: If you think I'm venturing an opinion after last year's record with me writing articles preceding LSU's biggest conference games, I think you might wanna stop some of Tim Tebow's Neurologists & ask them to examine your head.

Let's just say, I love LSU. I love College Football. I love games of this magnitude. I love our chances, & I sure do wish you had the privilege of being right here on Saturday Night at 7pm (That's me behind the camera, by the way).

(I'd like to pat myself on the back while pointing out to all of you Alabama Fans that I went the ENTIRE POST without mentioning you, Alabama's Recruiting Violations, your many stints on probation, or your delusional fanbase! So stop complaining, already!)

Comments:

Will he or won't he? LSU vs. Florida
Yes, it's that time...I've awoken from my humbling slumber to regale you all with a midweek missive regarding our memorable tilt in Tiger Stadium on Saturday Night. Rip Van TE has awoken from his long nap, ready to snap off delusion-filled, self-aggrandizing, snarky comments to friend & foe alike. And what a time to have been roused from my posting slumber. We find the most over-ranked, illegitimate 4th ranked team since, well...since these losers...going up against this year's Greatest Team In College Football History. Tim Tebow & his Merry Band of 11 AD/HD - Sociopathic-Navy-Seals-with-a-penchant-for-violence -&- a-wanton-disregard-for-human-life-disguised-as-the-Florida Defense will roll into Tiger Stadium to face an LSU Team that's won unimpressively, but at least not apologetically (cough** University of Georgia Football Program & Fans are classless whiners **cough). Most recently, LSU laid only the third loss on the Georgia Bulldogs at the hands of a conference foe since the Richt Era began, in quite impressive fashion. The Fighting Ifs will tell you that a phantom penalty cost UGA the game, but they'll forget that UGA had the same ability to return a kick from the same spot that LSU did. They had more time than LSU had to score the final touchdown on Charles Scott's 33 yard scamper. They even had 1 timeout, just as LSU did. What they didn't have was a quarterback who minds throwing into coverage on 3rd & 15 with the game on the line. Seriously, UGA fans...Since when does an Excessive Celebration Penalty=an automatic touchdown, two point conversion, plus an automatic interception turnover on downs to end a game? Someone call the paramedics! Moving right along, the main storyline-other than the fact that LSU is a fraud (Thanks, Mark May of ESPN...How do you like us now?), of course-is whether or not Jesus Tebow will play or not. Tom Rinaldi, Joe Schad, Tom Jones, Joe Perry...hell...everyone but D.B. Cooper have all weighed in on whether or not this kid should play, could play, might play, will play. I do believe, though, that the most important folks with a sayso in this decision haven't weighed in yet. Having thrown aside all of the amazing hype surrounding this game, along with all of the visqueen we have to hold up whenever Lou Holth talkth to uth about thith gamth, by now, you're wondering who, what, where, & how I think this game will be won. I got news for you: If you think I'm venturing an opinion after last year's record with me writing articles preceding LSU's biggest conference games, I think you might wanna stop some of Tim Tebow's Neurologists & ask them to examine your head. Let's just say, I love LSU. I love College Football. I love games of this magnitude. I love our chances, & I sure do wish you had the privilege of being right here on Saturday Night at 7pm (That's me behind the camera, by the way). (I'd like to pat myself on the back while pointing out to all of you Alabama Fans that I went the ENTIRE POST without mentioning you, Alabama's Recruiting Violations, your many stints on probation, or your delusional fanbase! So stop complaining, already!)