January 18, 2006
ESPN College Gameday Drinking Game
If you enjoyed the Brent Musberger Drinking Game, Kyle on Football brings you the ESPN College GameDay Drinking Game.
As always, play at your own risk - this one can be a doozie!!
The E.S.P.N. "College GameDay" Drinking Game
Rule No. 1: "My Friend." At the beginning of the game, someone must be designated as "My Friend." The host will choose which participant is My Friend and My Friend must sit to the host's immediate right. Whenever Lee Corso says, "Not so fast, my friend!" everyone except My Friend must finish his drink as quickly as possible. Whichever participant takes the longest to finish his drink becomes the new My Friend, because he followed Lee Corso's direction by being "not so fast." The new My Friend and the old My Friend then trade seats. Whenever Lee Corso says, "Not so fast, my friend, ___________-style," My Friend must put on an appropriate item of team-specific headgear (if the "not so fast" was "[team name]-style"), speak in an appropriate fake accent (if the "not so fast" was "[cultural or geographic reference]-style"), or do an impersonation of an appropriate coach or player (if the "not so fast" was "[coach or player name]-style").
Rule No. 2: "The Runt." Former "GameDay Final" panelist Trev Alberts landed himself in hot water by describing Ole Miss as "the runt of the litter." At the beginning of the game, in honor of Trev Alberts, someone must be designated as "The Runt." If there is one Ole Miss fan present, he automatically becomes The Runt. If there are two or more Ole Miss fans present, the most diminutive Ole Miss fan present is The Runt. If there are no Ole Miss fans present, the shortest fan of the school with the smallest enrollment is The Runt. Anytime a "GameDay" panelist makes a comment so asinine that it makes you reflect back wistfully on Trev Alberts's competence and sanity, you must announce, "I miss Trev," at which point The Runt gets to choose between (a) punching you in the arm or (b) making you take two drinks.
Rule No. 3: "Meeeechigan"/"Warshington." When Chris Fowler refers to Michigan as "Meeeechigan," everyone takes one drink. When Lee Corso refers to Washington as "Warshington" or to Washington State as "Warshington State," everyone takes one drink, except My Friend. However, if "Meeeechigan" and "Warshington" are referred to in the same segment (if, for instance, the subject of the 1992 Rose Bowl comes up), My Friend must finish his drink.
Rule No. 4: "The Greatest Ever." If any contemporary player, team, or game is declared "The Greatest _________ Ever," everyone takes one drink, except The Runt, who gets to punch anyone who is a fan of the player or team, or who watched the game, being touted as "The Greatest Ever." If the discussion of "The Greatest Ever" involves an interview with Pete Carroll or a Southern Cal player, everyone must finish his drink, except The Runt, who gets to punch everyone in the arm once.
Rule No. 5: "The Lean." If, prior to predicting the outcome of a particular game, Chris Fowler, Lee Corso, or Kirk Herbstreit makes reference to a given statement being indicative of a "lean," everyone must lean 45 degrees to the right and take one drink. If anyone falls over while leaning, My Friend drinks what is left of his drink, because, hey, what are friends for?
Rule No. 6: Lou Holtz. Anytime Lou Holtz mentions Notre Dame while discussing a game in which Notre Dame is not playing, everyone takes one drink. If he does it twice in the same segment, everyone takes two drinks, and so on until the end of the segment. If you try to speak and you find that you sound like Lou Holtz, stop drinking and have someone call you a cab.
Rule No. 7: Rece Davis. When Rece Davis says a player has logged on and is "part of the gone network," everyone takes one drink. When Rece Davis makes a popular culture reference that you don't get, you must announce, "I don't get it!" then take three drinks. The first person to explain the reference to you takes one drink. All other players take two drinks.
Rule No. 8: Jim Donnan. Anytime Jim Donnan appears on screen, all Georgia fans present must finish their drinks and all Florida, Georgia Tech, or Tennessee fans must raise their glasses in salute to Jim Donnan before taking one drink. Anyone who is not a Florida, Georgia, Georgia Tech, or Tennessee fan must listen to Jim Donnan's analysis and take as many drinks as necessary to feel as drunk as Jim Donnan sounds.
Rule No. 9: Shillin'. Whenever Chris Fowler previews an E.S.P.N. noon game between middle-of-the-pack Big Ten teams before previewing a more significant game on C.B.S. or N.B.C., everyone takes one drink during each commercial break until the more important game on another network is discussed.
Rule No. 10: Mark May. Whenever Mark May attributes a substantial degree of a team's success to its offensive line, everyone takes one drink. Whenever Mark May says something and Lou Holtz replies, "That's a good point," everyone takes one drink. Whenever Mark May says something and Lou Holtz replies, "That's a good point," then goes on to disagree with Mark May's point, everyone takes two drinks. Whenever Mark May predicts that Georgia will lose its next football game, all Georgia fans present must finish their drinks.
Rule No. 11: Desmond Howard. If you can't understand what Desmond Howard is saying, take one drink. If you're pretty sure he's making a good point, despite your inability to understand what he is saying, take two drinks.
Rule No. 12: Kirk Herbstreit. If your wife or girlfriend comments on how good looking Kirk Herbstreit is, you must take one drink and your wife or girlfriend must take two drinks. If your wife or girlfriend expounds upon this in greater detail (e.g., "I like it better when he's calling the Thursday night games with Mike Tirico, 'cause he looks so cute when he's wearing his glasses!"), you and your wife or girlfriend must each finish your drinks and you must ask, "Do any of you know a good therapist for couples' counseling?" If anyone knows a good therapist for couples' counseling, that person automatically becomes My Friend and The Runt gets to punch the new My Friend in the arm once.
Rule No. 13: Keith Jackson. Whenever Chris Fowler sends the show out to Keith Jackson for a preview, everyone must do a Keith Jackson impersonation. The last person to say, "Whoa, Nellie!" must take one drink.
Rule No. 14: Brent Musburger. Whenever Chris Fowler sends the show out to Brent Musburger for a preview, the rules of The Brent Musburger Drinking Game apply during the preview, with My Friend serving as "Gary My Man" and The Runt serving as "The Pardner."
Rule No. 15: Theme Song. While the "College GameDay" theme song is playing, the first person to say, "I miss Bubba Sparxxx," must take one drink. Anyone who voices his disagreement must take one drink while The Runt punches him in the arm.
Rule No. 16: Holly Rowe. If Holly Rowe starts to look good to you, stop drinking.
Rule No. 17: Lee Corso. If Lee Corso predicts that your team will win its next football game, you must finish your drink, pour yourself another drink, finish that drink, and let The Runt punch you in the arm nine times. If Lee Corso says something that makes sense to you, stop drinking immediately and never drink again.
Feel free to add your own rules in the comments section below.
Comments:
Senor Pez said:
posted on January 18, 2006 11:34 AM — 63.162.183.2 — link — abuse?
Who the hell is Bubba Sparxxx? Is he in someway related to the horrific, sell-out, country song that blared on my television every Saturday morning?
If so, I don't miss him at all. Until next year, when I missing him will be what I pray for.
posted on January 18, 2006 11:59 AM — link — abuse?Kevin Donahue said:
Normally I'd say total faux pas, Brian, but Xanga sites come & go and this one is **way** to good to see it disappear.
SECWestChamps'06 said:
posted on January 18, 2006 12:25 PM — 64.49.11.250 — link — abuse?
The entire gameday crew should be dragged out and shot. They make the most rediculous, biased points possible on each show. Their homoerotic affection for the Big 10 is sickening. I think they're just mad that the SEC has the best football, tailgating, scenery, food, best looking girls, and the most beer, and they don't come to any SEC games.
finalfouruniversity said:
posted on January 21, 2006 11:52 AM — 69.14.36.114 — link — abuse?
Lee Corso is my boy!!! Kirk Herbstreit is a good, not so fast!! He is not as good as my boy Lee, ahh!!!!
T. Kyle King said:
posted on January 25, 2006 8:29 PM — 68.211.191.207 — link — abuse?
Senor Pez, Bubba Sparxxx is the guy who used to do a new song every week, to be played over the "GameDay" opening montage, until he got lazy and came up with one standard theme that they used over and over until everyone got tired of it, thus paving the way for the dreadful Big & Rich.
As for whether cutting and pasting the whole thing is a faux pas, I appreciate the support, Brian, but, Kevin, I don't consider it inappropriate in the least; I'm grateful for the publicity. Between being cited on Fanblogs and being insulted by The Spirit of Bill Oliver at Every Day Should Be Saturday, I've had a heck of a week!
T. Pounds said:
posted on February 17, 2006 2:05 PM — 63.241.174.129 — link — abuse?
Ammendment to Rule 3:
If Washington State University is mistakenly referred to as the University of Washington by any commentator; everyone takes a drink.I should post a WSU-flag-spotting rule also... I'll have to think about that one.
GameCock4Life said:
posted on April 1, 2006 12:12 AM — 71.68.108.111 — link — abuse?
To reply to #6 not so fast my friend. The first Gameday game last season was yours trully the Gamecocks. I will agree with you that the love the Big Ten, but they all have ties to the Big Ten. At least for sure I know that Herbstreit played at Ohio State, and I think Davis went to Michigan.
Kevin said:
posted on July 12, 2006 10:16 PM — 69.210.121.204 — link — abuse?
The talk about the gameday crew not giving the SEC its due is nonsense. Almost every week Herbstreit says there's no better atmosphere than SEC tailgating and the crazy fans. Yeah they like the Big Ten, but I'm sure Kirk likes looking at the girls in the south too!
OU Fan said:
posted on August 13, 2006 12:11 AM — 69.179.196.245 — link — abuse?
SecWestChamps, I don't know about having the best looking girls in the South. I currently am stationed in lower Alabama and have been all over the South, and its nothing compared to say California or even Texas. Texas has a lot of beautiful women. Oklahoma also has a lot of beautiful women. Not saying that the South does not have a lot of hot women because it does, but Texas and Oklahoma have more. I think Texas even has more than Florida IN MY OPINION.
J-LO said:
posted on August 15, 2006 6:01 AM — 72.241.46.238 — link — abuse?
who ever imvented this game, my hats off to you my freind, anyone who can make my reason for getting up early on saturday morning in the fall even better, is ok in my book. bring back the bubba sparx intro, that big n rich craps gotta go.
M GO BLUENDAFArly said:
posted on August 23, 2006 2:54 PM — 74.132.144.25 — link — abuse?
Davis = Michigan
Herbstreit = Ohio State
Corso = Indiana
All big Ten Guys
Also, Mark May HATES Notre Dame! Has ever since he was a player a Pitt. Go to some ND fan sites and you can find some great clips of Mark May saying ridiculous things about ND, it's hilarious! Which made it funny with May and Holtz together. My favorite May quote from last year, "USC will beat ND by at least 30 points, ND has no business being on the same field as SC."
TheNicker said:
posted on September 12, 2006 1:17 AM — 69.137.219.25 — link — abuse?
Wrong!
Rece Davis got his start in the state of Michigan, but went to school at ALABAMA, AN SEC SCHOOL!!!
Corso is an alumnus of Florida St., which is common knowledge, and coached at Maryland and head coached at Louisville before his stint at Indiana.
Chris Fowler went to CU-Boulder, and Mark May went to Pittsburgh. HUUUUGE big ten bias my ass.
Here Duckie, Duckie, Duckie said:
posted on September 17, 2006 11:37 PM — 71.213.226.54 — link — abuse?
Rule #18: Anytime someone insinuates that TCU actually has a legitimate shot at the national championship, everyone holds shots of Everclear in their mouths until one person's face turns purple. The purple-faced person must swallow the shot, while the others spit their shots toward the TV screen at the offending commentator.
KCRWreck said:
posted on September 30, 2006 4:47 PM — 66.32.140.208 — link — abuse?
If Corso refers to his car getting hit my lightning, "My Friend" has to finish his drink, refill, and take two drinks. If Corso's rental car gets hit by lightning, "My Friend" has to finish his drink then refill and finish twice.
FSU_Student said:
posted on October 1, 2006 6:10 AM — 76.3.6.22 — link — abuse?
"Anytime an announcer references the OU/UO replay during a replay, everyone in the room goes out for Espresso and listens to a Barbra Steisand CD."
I can't think of ANYONE who likes coffee that much. Pretty sure most would OD on such a copious amount of caffine.
Honestly, I think OU should done the right thing have forfeited that game. That had to be the single most disgusting thing next to filth Colorados (The 1990 colorado team I mean) fifth down. Teams should be big enough to suck up a deserved loss. I agree it wasn't UO's best game but it certainly was the best OU has done against a real team in a long time and such a loss would not have been shameful for that overrated program.
OU Fan said:
posted on October 1, 2006 2:43 PM — 69.29.102.143 — link — abuse?
FSU Student, call OU overrated if you want. I remember that overrated OU program held the Noles to 2 points in the 2000 natl title game, and FSU got those 2 points only when OU gave them to them. That FSU-PSU game last season was horrible. Also, the Sooners can move the football up and down the field unlike FSU who has one of the worst offenses in the nation. Go Sooners!
FSU_Student said:
posted on October 1, 2006 4:25 PM — 76.3.6.22 — link — abuse?
I'm really very sorry I confused anyone (I myself got confused) I wish I could edit that but I guess I will just rewrite it below:
Honestly, I think Oregon should done the right thing have forfeited that game. That had to be the single most disgusting thing next to filth Colorados (The 1990 colorado team I mean) fifth down. Teams should be big enough to suck up a deserved loss. I agree it wasn't Oklahoma's best game but it certainly was the best Oregon has done against a real team in a long time and such a loss would not have been shameful for that overrated program.
I guess It still sorta made sense even though I reversed the two accidently. Oklahoma has had some serious downtime. Still OU Fan while I hope you accept my appologies for that. Now, your victory in the 2000 NC game said more about FSU then Oklahoma. Two interceptions and a fumble do not come from a team that belongs in the NC game. FSU played horribly (interestingly the FSU quarterback -hiesman winner- Wienke still had more yards then that Huerpal or whatever his name was fool you guys fronted). I guess Richt was too busy signing that contract with GA. Good for him, too bad the old man couldn't resist promoting that shitbrick.
Most exciting ACC game next week:
Clemson @ Wake
Clemson is due an upset and Wake looks good as the only undefeated left in the ACC. Let us not forget Clemson almost lost to Wake in 2004 (and DID LOSE TO DUKE!!! YES IN FOOTBALL!) and did lose to Wake in 2005. I predict a win for Wake (and I really hope I am right, since FSU must depend on the general suckiness of the Atlantic side of the ACC in order to get to a game, BC has begun to come through with the upset @NC State and a the harder portion of the conference still to come in FSU, VT, and Miami).OU Fan said:
posted on October 2, 2006 9:10 AM — 69.29.102.143 — link — abuse?
FSU Student, even though I said some bad things about FSU, they are my favorite Florida team. I like FSU a lot better than I do Florida or Miami. No hard feelings. I am very glad that the Noles beat Miami, but I do wish that they would get rid of Bowden's son. Go Sooners!
F'em Bucky said:
posted on October 28, 2006 11:28 PM — 68.113.228.185 — link — abuse?
Anyone notice the nets behind Corso & the boys? These started a few years ago when UW went 9-0 (no one needs to mention that they tanked the next 3 games) and the crowd got tired of the crap they were dishing and started pelting pretty boy Herbstreit & Corso with brew. Needless to say they have not been back (not that we have given them a good reason to return other than being consistently near the top of the much maligned Big 10).
How much would the Big 10 have to pay ND to join so we could have a conference title game?
Fart Sandwich said:
posted on November 2, 2006 4:18 PM — 66.232.200.182 — link — abuse?
Axuelly, Corso went out on a limb and picked top-10 Tennersee in Souf Karelina whenever that game was.
#19: Drink every time Lou Holtz fills time by dragging out university names instead of using the conventional shorthand we all use. He always refers to schools as "the University of ____" not simply the school itself. For example, "next week, the University of Michigan has a big game at the University of Notre Dame," not Michigan takes on Notre Dame.
#20: Every time the Big & Rich music starts, everybody has to sing along in your best hick accent as loud as possible. SEC fans, use your normal voice. Make up whatever words you don't know/don't understand or just repeat the following lines and spit out random North American place names (Random North American Place Names would be a good name for a band) "Well, we're cominnnn' to yer cit-taaaaaaaaaaaay... if you wanna little zang in your bang-bang (?), comealong." Drink as needed until either everyone joins in and voices carry or voices fail. Yeah, that's a 'Til Tuesday joke. I'm not gay, you're gay, you ... gay person.
Oh, and Kirk Herbstreit is the pimp balls. What a luscious hunk of man-candy. I haven't been drinking, yet I've somehow soiled my trousers. Time to hang with the 'Sconsin band and do both at the same time!
Jim Donnan reminds me of Dom DeLuise in the Carson sketch where things get a little crazy, ending with pants that look like they've had a garden hose turned loose on them. And then pie to the genitals.
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Brian @mgoblog said:
posted on January 18, 2006 11:04 AM — 198.102.112.18 — link — abuse?Um... I'm pretty sure cutting and pasting the whole thing is a faux pas.